Mind

You

  1. Past
    1. Epochs
      1. Infancy (0-2 years)
      2. Early childhood (2-4 years)
      3. Preschool (4-5 years)
      4. School (5-12 years)
      5. Adolescence (13-19 years)
      6. Early adulthood (20-39 years)
      7. Adulthood (40-64 years)
      8. Maturity (65-death)
        1. Calculating the day you die.
    2. Impact of experiences
      1. If something bad has happened to you, in the past, your mind cannot be at peace until you have figured out how to avoid having the same thing happen to you again in the future. You can tell how well you have managed this by remembering different important events from the past. If you recall memories that make you feel ashamed, or guilty, or angry, or hurt, and these memories are more than a year and a half old, then your mind is not at peace, and you are still carrying the weight of your past.
    3. Annual review
  2. Present
    1. Personality
      1. Tests
        1. Myers Briggs (MBTI)
        2. DiSC Assessment
    2. Strengths
      1. Character strengths
    3. Purpose
      1. What’s something I could do that would be remembered in 200-400 years?
    4. Confidence
      1. Protect your mind.
    5. Dishonesty
      1. To lie is to intentionally mislead others when they expect honest communication.
      2. Lying is both a failure of understanding and an unwillingness to be understood.
      3. children do not learn to tell white lies until about the age of four, once they have achieved a hard-won awareness of the mental states of others.
      4. Lying even about small matters needlessly damages personal relationships and public trust.
        1. Others feel betrayed
        2. Only increasing or decreasing trust
      5. We lie to:
        1. Avoid embarrassment
        2. Exaggerate accomplishments
        3. Disguise wrongdoing
        4. Make false promises to seem good
        5. Spare the feelings of others
    6. Passing of time
      1. You have $86,400 in a bank account and someone stole $10 from you. Would you be upset and throw the rest of it away in hopes of getting back at the person or move on and live? We have that many seconds a day do not let someone’s negative seconds ruin the rest of the 86,390. Don’t sweat the small stuff, life is bigger than that.
  3. Future
  4. Habits
    1. 5×5 Rule
      1. Average of the 5 habits you do, 5 foods you eat, 5 ideas you have and content you consume.

Them

  1. Appreciation
    1. What you appreciate appreciates.
    2. Admire someone else’s beauty without questioning your own.
    3. There isn’t a person you wouldn’t love if you could read their story.
  2. Compatibility
    1. Our greatest freedom is allowing others to have their own experience.
    2. It takes 10 hours for someone to trust you.
    3. Listen to what people don’t say.
  3. Interaction
    1. Listen
      1. Ask open ended questions.
        1. Be more interested than interesting.
          1. “If you want to meet interesting people, be interested in the people you meet—their lives, their history, their story. Where are they from? How did they get here? What have they learned? By practicing the art of being interested, the majority of people can become fascinating teachers; nearly everyone has an interesting story to tell.”
      2. Feeling felt
        1. “Making someone “feel felt” simply means putting yourself in the other person’s shoes. When you succeed, you can change the dynamics of a relationship in a heartbeat. At that instant, instead of trying to get the better of each other, you “get” each other and that breakthrough can lead to cooperation, collaboration, and effective communication.”
        2. “Attach an emotion to what you think the other person is feeling, such as “frustrated,” “angry,” or “afraid.”
        3. 2. Say, “I’m trying to get a sense of what you’re feeling and I think it’s—————. . .” and fill in an emotion. “Is that correct? If it’s not, then what are you feeling?” Wait for the person to agree or correct you.
        4. 3. Then say, “How frustrated (angry, upset, etc.) are you?” Give the person time to respond. Be prepared, at least initially, for a torrent of emotions—especially if the person you’re talking with is holding years of pent-up frustration, anger, or fear inside. This is not the time to fight back, or air your own grievances.
        5. 4. Next, say, “And the reason you’re so frustrated (angry, upset, etc.) is because. . . ?” Again, let the person vent.
        6. 5. Then say, “Tell me—what needs to happen for that feeling to feel better?”
        7. 6. Next, say, “What part can I play in making that happen? What part can you play in making that happen?”
      3. Telling stories
        1. Analogies
        2. Comedy
          1. Comedy follows a formula.
          2. Best jokes harness element of surprise.
          3. Two unlike things combined create a joke.
    2. Go first: Acknowledge other people in the world first, be proactive on saying hello.
    3. Pause to choose the right words when you speak.
    4. Turn off your analytical mind (left-brain) once in awhile, use your creative mind (right-brain). Especially in social situations.
    5. Filters
      1. Gender
      2. Generation
      3. Nationality
      4. Education
      5. Emotion
    6. Conflict
      1. “Think of a “problem person” you don’t know very well—someone who misses deadlines, blows up for no apparent reason, acts hostile, is oversensitive to criticism, or otherwise drives you nuts. Make a mental list of the words you’d use to describe the person: lazy, slacker, rude, jerk, etc.
      2. Now, think of five secrets that could underlie the person’s behavior (for example, “he’s scared about a medical condition,” “she’s afraid that we don’t respect her because of her age,” “he’s a recovering alcoholic and has some bad days,” “she has posttraumatic stress disorder,” “he got burned by a previous business partner and now he doesn’t trust people”). Picture how your feelings about the person would change in each scenario you imagine.
      3. Once you’re used this exercise to open your mind, schedule a meeting or a lunch with the person—and see if you can find out the real reason for the problem behaviors you see.”
  4. Balance
    1. 1/3 of people rule: 33% to mentor others, 33% people who are close to me in progress, 33% 10X where I am from now

Learning

  1. Styles
    1. Visual
    2. Auditory
    3. Kinesthetic
  2. Note taking

Experiences

  1. Bucket Listing
  2. Travel
    1. Packing lists
    2. Cheap
      1. Cook people dinner in exchange for a place to stay (invite strangers friends of friends)
  3. Mindset
    1. Create magic moments.
    2. Things don’t have to be owned to experience them in the rental economy.
      1. Mansions
      2. Fancy cars
      3. Resorts
    3. Look at things from appreciation and gratitude. Instead of complaining about traffic, appreciate that we have cars to get us to places faster.
  4. Journaling
    1. Passive journaling
      1. Text messages
      2. Recorded conversations
      3. Social media posts
      4. Photographs
        1. Use these to fill in gaps of time where there were no entries.
    2. Techniques
      1. Five minute journal
      2. One sentence journal 
      3. How do you feel right now?
      4. What did you learn yesterday?
      5. Are you ready to take on the day? Why/why not?
      6. Tagging
        1. Ie: Magic moments, insight, lessons
      7. Stream of consciousness
      8. Gratitude

Hobbies

  1. Discovery

 Emotions

  1. Anger
  2. Sadness
  3. Stress
    1. Talk about yourself in the third person when you need to get perspective on a very big challenge, a stressful situation, or a traumatic experience.
    2. Unresolved past issues make your mind and body react as if the day-to-day environment that you inhabit is permanently dangerous. Under such conditions, your body reacts to stress with more preparation for action: for fight or flight, which you may feel, respectively, as anger or fear and emotional pain.
    3. Cortisol shuts down your higher mental functions, inhibits your immune system, burns up your available energy and, over time, damages the brain areas responsible for memory and emotional control. Thus it is very important to keep your stress levels within reasonable boundaries.
  4. Anxiety
    1. Your feelings are the sign you’ve been waiting for.
    2. Get comfortable with uncertainty.
  5. Motivation
    1. The whole idea of motivation is a trap. After you start doing the thing that’s when motivation comes and makes it easier for me to keep doing it.
    2. Motivation is a bi-product.
    3. Grit is long term stamina.

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